I grew up with my grandmother having a “roommate” and, of course, I was
just a kid and I thought nothing of it. When I was about 9 years old we were
going to visit my Grandmother for her birthday in Texas. Before we left, my
mother sat my sister and I down and began to explain why our grandmother had a
“roommate”. She was afraid we would go to the birthday party and would see the
gay men that were in my grandmother’s circle of friends and she was sure I
would realize something was not “right”.
I was a smart kid and would have realized that the guys there were not
like my dad with their actions. I really believe that she thought it would
change my view of her, but she soon realized that, even at a young age, my
sister and I didn’t really think much of it. As a young child, it did not
change the view I had of my grandmother. She was still the loving, affectionate
women I grew up with, now I just knew why she had a roommate for such a long
time.
As a pre-teen I
remember going to visit my grandmother and her “life partner” as we called her.
She was a nice lady named Kate and she was every bit a grandmother to us. It
became normal for me to have two grandmothers who lived together and I would
talk about them as both of my grandmothers. Of course, when I would finish my
sentence I would get the infamous “wait, your grandma is gay?” question and I
would be left to explain the whole thing to them. I would always feel like they
just really didn’t get it, but that was my childhood and it became normal. My
Grandmother was with Kate until I was around thirteen years old. My grandma and
Kate split up for reasons I never really asked about. She then moved into a
house with three male roommates. Needless to say, they were very homosexual and
flamboyant. I went to visit for a week at my grandmothers new house and was
exposed to these short shorts and cut off shirt wearing men that were, as my
dad used to put it, “queer as a three dollar bill”. I am positive my dad was
not okay with the idea of me visiting, but he didn’t have a lot of say in the
matter I’m assuming. This is when I realized that there was no way these men
were ever like me. They had to be born this way.
With my unique
perspective of having a lesbian grandmother, which obviously is not common, I
truly feel like people are born a certain way. I have had long conversations
with her about when and how she decided she was a lesbian. She told me that
when she was a little girl she was very much a Tom-Boy. She has always felt
like she wasn’t “a girl”, now keep in mind that when my grandmother was growing
up being gay wasn’t an option. She tried her best to be what society deemed
appropriate, but after two failed marriages and three children she eventually
decided that she was gay and began to pursue this way of life when her children
were teenagers. Her own children didn’t know that she was gay until my mother
(the oldest child) was almost twenty years old. One of my wife’s very good
friends is a lesbian who got married twice and really gave it her best try to
be what everyone expected her to be. Now that she is divorced and with her
current partner she no longer feels like she is putting on a show for everyone
to look like she is ‘normal’. She is the happiest she has ever been, now that
she can be who she really is. Ironically, her partner has two children because
she was in the same situation. I truly feel these individuals are in a
torturous state, in a constant purgatory and fighting their natural urges.
I have no problem
with someone being gay. If that is what makes them happy, then they should go
for it. No one should try and be something or someone they are not. My
grandmother lived most of her life being someone she really wasn’t. Of course I
am glad that she gave the straight life a try otherwise I wouldn’t be here to
write about it today.
The homosexual community does not
believe that sexuality is something one chooses nor do they believe it is
chosen for them. Rather, they are born with it. Homosexuality is not new to
this world. In 2014, it is far more acceptable (for most) to make the statement
that they are gay then it was 10+ years ago. Homosexuals are ridiculed, beaten
and discriminated against no matter what year they’re living in. Why would
anyone choose to be a part of the minority? Why would someone choose to be gay
when the statement, “I’m gay”, is likely to be the most difficult and scary
statement to make of their life? People choose to be different when it comes to
their appearance, but not who they are inside.
Scientists have researched
homosexuality over the years in an attempt to make a biological connection to
why people are gay. Many of these attempts are mere speculation; however, they
have discovered a similarity among the gay men. Ray Blanchard named this
similarity as The Fraternal Birth Order Effect and concluded the following
statement; “The likelihood of being gay increases by about 33 percent with each
additional older brother. From these statistics, researchers calculate that
about 15 to 30 percent of gay men have the fraternal birth order effect to
thank for their homosexuality”. He continues on to say those studies also show
sexual orientation is not based on the environment because homosexual men who
have not been raised with their older brothers are still homosexual.
Scientists did a study in 1991
over the hypothalamus, the area of the brain that releases sex hormones. This
study was done to determine the difference of a heterosexual and a homosexual’s
brain structure. The study appeared to show a difference in the size of each
group’s hypothalamus (S. LeVay, Sciencemag.org), however, in a more recent
study in 2001, it proved that there was no difference in the size, but how
closely packed the neurons were in gay men versus straight men (William Bayne,
Science Direct). The PET and MRI studies in 2008 show the brain of a homosexual
man and heterosexual woman are more symmetrical and the same for heterosexual
men and homosexual woman (Savik Ivanka, PNAS). Brain development plays a key
role in sexual orientation. Based on these studies, a person’s brain and the
amount of exposure they have to sex hormones in the womb can manipulate a
person’s sexual orientation at birth and throughout their early childhood development.
The majority of people who are
against homosexuality are basing their discrimination off of what was written
in the Bible. The Bible, written by man thousands of years ago, states that
homosexuality is a sin, unnatural and against God’s will. Not only have there
been dramatic changes on the roles men and women play in their daily lives, but
there have been dramatic changes in how men and woman view themselves and each
other on a sexual level. If the same discriminatory people took this book as seriously
in every aspect, could we argue that no man or woman should get divorced based
on “Reconcilable Differences”? There are plenty of religious groups who revolve
their lives around what the Bible says, yet who are also faced with divorce. If
God views every sin on the same level, why would divorce be any different than
being homosexual? Homosexuality being a sin, based on what the Bible says, can
be viewed as an invalid argument. Homosexuality is still something that the
majority of the population finds uncomfortable. Many of them believe a man
should lay with a woman and that you should “save yourself until marriage”. The
reality is that a very small part of the population lives according to the
Bible and a large part of the population chooses what part(s) of the Bible they
want to live by.
In conclusion, the homosexual
community does not believe that being gay is a choice one makes as they journey
through life. They believe they are born gay, whether it is by in utero
hormones or genetic makeup. Homosexual’s can fight through their feelings
towards the same sex for the majority of their childhood and adult life, but
that doesn’t mean their decision to be gay was based on life experiences. It
means they are finally accepting what they have always felt. Homosexuality is
not something that has evolved over the years; it is something that has slowly
become more acceptable to the general population.
Is
Sexuality determined at birth? Con side
The question whether people are
born gay or not has gained a lot of steam in the last 10 or so years. The
people against this idea usually all have the same reasoning behind their
conclusions. The standpoint of the church is the biggest opponent of the idea
that an individual can be born gay. This idea is absolutely ludicrous to the
Religious community. There are numerous biblical quotes that condemn
homosexuality in bible and most state that the act of homosexuality is against
nature and also against God’s will. Many studies have been done to prove that
people can possibly be born gay, on the other hand, for every study done to
prove this theory there has been a study that contradicts the findings due to
poor or improper conduction of the original studies.
The theory that upbringing could
influence someone’s sexuality is a very popular idea. It would state that the
influences that a child experiences as an adolescent would determine what is
appealing to them as an adult. This could include abuse, molestation, or the
absence of a proper role model. Choosing to be gay has become more common in
recent years due to the sensationalizing of the gay life style in the media,
which in turn exposes more and more easily influenced children that will think
it’s “cool” to be a part of a life style that is against the grain.
Let’s look at the genetics of what
is coined the “gay” gene, if there were such a thing. The process of natural
selection doesn’t take kindly to any genetic mutation that limits reproduction.
This means that if it were truly a gene then there would be almost no way for
this gene to be passed from parent to offspring because, let’s be honest,
homosexual sex equals zero percent chance of offspring (John Mackay). That
being said, the “gay” gene would never be passed on unless a lesbian lived a
heterosexual lifestyle and had children before succumbing to her homosexual
tendencies/choice. This in no way could account for the overwhelming gay
population that says they were born gay. If there were a gay gene the fickle
course of natural selection would weed it out. No one is born gay by homosexual
sex, it’s just impossible. This argument also can be worded in the way that
there is no way a gay gene would be passed down from heterosexual sex and even
if it did then those gay off spring would never reproduce so the gene would die
with the homosexual. That’s just nature’s way of weeding out undesirable
traits, in the same sense that most people with Down’s syndrome are sterile.
This is nature’s way of making sure that this random pop up of a mutation is
incapable of passing their less than “perfect” traits to the next generation.
Evolution is the process of natural selection and it only allows traits to
continue down the gene pool if those traits contribute to the organisms’ efficiency
or productivity in their survival of the species.
The Bible’s position has been set
for a very long time and is well known and simple. The Old Testament is very
blunt in their approach to “fixing” the abomination known as homosexuality.
They were given a chance to repent right before they were put to death alongside
the thieves and adulterers. Moses wrote, Leviticus 20:13 “If a man lies with a
male as he lies with woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They
shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them.” (Holy Bible, Old
Testament). That doesn’t sound like there was any opportunity for the men to
plead their case and try and convince God that they were born this way. The New
Testament is a little more forgiving in the fact that you were not put to death
but you where given a chance to be cleansed of your sins and follow the word of
God from that point forward. However, if you continued in sin the penalty would
be eternal damnation in the pits of hell alongside the thieves, murderers, and adulterers.
Corinthians 6:9-11 reads: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not
inherit the kingdom of god? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters,
nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor
drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of god. And
such were some of you. But you where washed, but you where sanctified, but you
where justified in the name of the lord Jesus and by the spirit of our God”. (Holy Bible, New Testament)
Was Adam, the first man on earth,
gay? Well, of course he wasn’t because according to the bible he reproduces
with Eve. Neither one of these obviously heterosexual people would have passed
on a gay gene, which we are supposedly all descendants of. God says that he created
man in his image and he also pronounces homosexuality/lesbian behavior as wrong
and worthy of judgment because it is wrong and against his plan for man to
procreate. Even if there were a mutation
that popped up in the gene pool, it would soon be bred right back out of the
gene pool since those individuals would never produce offspring.
Part 4 Why are you on the side you
are on despite the best arguments from the other side?
I do not feel that people have a
choice in to their sexuality. The scientific research seems to be a wash
because for every study done by one side of the argument there is a
contradictory study done by the opposing side to discredit the prior findings.
The most credited source for truly knowing if people are born gay or not is to
speak with people that have lived that life and faced the criticism of their
sexual preference. We will be citing the response to the question of whether a
person is born gay or not from multiple individuals who have the most insight
on their feelings and how their feelings have affected their life. These are
the reasons I feel strongly in my opinion on this controversial topic.
There have been many studies done
by multiple groups either trying to prove that sexuality is a choice or to
prove that it is determined genetically. This argument has been ongoing and
everyone wants a scientific explanation. The best source of data may actually
be by asking people that tried to conform to the status quo and live the life
that society has set as “normal” but were unable to suppress the feelings they
had and deny the way that they truly felt about themselves and what gender they
were attracted to. My own grandmother is
a very good example of the fact that sexuality is not a choice and she
ultimately could not choose to be heterosexual. She had three children and
three failed marriages before she finally decided to be true to herself and not
play the “role” that society had set for her.
My grandmother Connie tells me the
story of her childhood and early adulthood and it is a very sad story. While
she was a child, she never felt like playing with the girls was any fun. She
never liked dolls or playing house, she was the classic tom-boy. As she got
older, all of her friends started getting interested in boys but she never
really found them appealing. She was told by her mother that she was just a
late bloomer. This would have been a nice, easy answer to her problems but as
time went on she decided that she should try dating boys and see what the fuss
was all about. She fell into the groove and was able to act like boys were
interesting to her but she never felt like she was being herself. In her young
adulthood, she got married and all of her family was very happy but deep down
she didn’t feel happy for herself. This marriage failed and so did the next
two. By the time her last marriage failed she had decided that the reason she
never felt intimate with a man was because she was attracted to women and once
she realized this, she was able to be herself and it explained all of the
confusion in her younger years. This story is the most compelling reason why I
feel that she was always homosexual and that the majority of her life she was
told it was wrong to feel the way she did.
There are some topics where the opposing
sides have two completely different reasons why they feel the way that they do about
that the topic. For example, one side looks for scientific data and the other side
looks at the moral aspect. Most of the gay community is looking for scientific proof
to justify the way they feel and the way they were born so the opposing side has
to accept the scientific facts. On the flip side, the religious community uses what
was written in the bible about homosexuality. As you can see I don’t feel that these
two sides will ever come to any type of agreement or middle ground. This is the
reason I feel that the people who live this homosexual lifestyle are the best source
for someone to come to their own conclusion. If someone is open minded and is willing
to listen to a gay man or woman explain why they feel the way they do it is almost
impossible to not realize that those individuals were this way from birth. I value the feelings of an individual over what
was written in a book over one thousand years ago and any scientific data that can
be gathered with today’s technology.
Works Cited
S.
LeVay. “A difference in hypothalamic structure between heterosexual and homosexual
men” ScienceMag.org
August 30th 1991. Sun 2 Nov. 2014.
William
Bayne. “The Interstitial Nuclei of the Human Anterior Hypothalamus: An
Investigation of Variation with Sex, Sexual Orientation, and HIV Status”
September 2001 vol.40(2). Sun 2 Nov. 2014.
Savik
Ivanka. “PET and MRI shows difference in cerebral asymmetry and function
connectivity between homo- and heterosexual subjects”
July 8th 2008 volume 105. Sun 2 Nov. 2014.
John Mackay “Ask John Mackay”
Web.
Moses “Leviticus 20:13, Holy Bible Old Testament”
Deciple Paul “Corinthians 6:9-11, Holy Bible, New Testament”
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